


Erik and Charles Are the Worst Dads Ever

by cold_feets



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-01
Updated: 2011-08-01
Packaged: 2017-10-22 02:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/232853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cold_feets/pseuds/cold_feets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CRACK. In which premade frozen pancakes don't exist in the 1960s. And that's just upsetting for everyone. Also, I've never actually seen this movie and know nothing about X-Men beyond what I've gleaned from my flist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Erik and Charles Are the Worst Dads Ever

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVE NEVER SEEN XMFC. This is a fic that details everything I have learned about this fandom through fannish osmosis except for the need to wear coats in Miami because apparently that happens, too.

"I want pancakes!" Erik said, smiling with 4522 of his teeth. "If only we had some!"

"If only we could cook!" Charles replied. "We should have spent more time learning practical life skills instead of making eyes at each other and crying single manly tears."

"Or shagging everyone ever."

"Or wearing turtlenecks."

"That isn't actually time consuming," Erik pointed out. "I can do that while doing other things. I proved that last night."

"Twice, if I remember correctly."

The collection of mutant kids hummed really loudly with their fingers in their ears. They had to do that a lot. Ugh. Dads.

"We need to go to the store if we want pancakes," One of the Blues Ones said loudly.

"Don't be silly, One of the Blue Ones," Charles said. "You can't buy pancakes at a grocery store." He looked meaningfully at a wrong author who happened to be sitting in the corner. The Wrong Author skulked out of the room, ashamed.

"Some day, I hope to live in a world where one can buy premade pancakes in a grocery store," The One They Push Off of Things said.

"Today is not that day," Erik said and pushed him off the counter he was sitting on.

"Aren't I rich?" Charles asked. "Don't I have People? Can't they make us pancakes? I'm a white male of means. Surely all I need to do is ring a bell or something..."

"Seriously," Erik said. "It's the only reason I stick around. Hire someone to make us pancakes."

"On it."

"You are the worst dads ever," The Other Blue One said.


End file.
